Concerning the Utilikilt

I have recently purchased a “utilikilt” through I haven’t worn it out and about, yet, because I forgot to purchase a buckle for it. Now, I should first mention that I have a real live authentic kilt made of heavy winter weight wool that I purchased in 1999. And while I have a Sgian-dubh, Sporran, Flashes, and Hose for my authentic kilt, these items are for my authentic kilt.

This is because my utilikilt is separate and distinct from my authentic kilt. So, there! I have other similar accessories for my utilikilt, but no flashes. But I forgot to purchase a buckle for my belt… no worries, it will be here tomorrow or Thursday.

Now, while I will be wearing my utilikilt around and about in downtown Fargo, as I go for my daily walks, I have no idea what the response I will get. The thing is, when I have worn my kilt, it is a severe expression of masculinity. And some people have noticed that. And while I think that some people have an appropriate response, whatever that means.

I was in Washington DC in 1999 for about a week. And during that entire week, I only wore my kilt. In 1999, the response was fine, I did think that some people were intimidated by my kilt. But that could have been seeing a crazy man wearing a kilt, or my immense masculinity.

I had also worn my kilt at a Christmas party in 1999, when I was working for NSC Systems Group, wherein I had “upstaged” a man that was known to be wearing outrageous, but sane, clothing during the yearly Christmas party.

I had gone to another Christmas party in 1999 from my ex-wife’s employer, and I wore the kilt then, also. However, the boss said something to the effect that he like the fact that I don’t take myself seriously. Then my ex-wife mentioned to him that he misunderstood, she said that I always take myself seriously.

In June of 2000, when Ed Learning Systems was being sold, we had a “good bye gathering” party. I wore the kilt, again, and even though my ex-wife was there, I do believe that a female employee was “hitting on me”. It went over well for me, but my ex-wife didn’t like it a bit.

So, in every instance I wore my kilt, I got a good reception from my kilt.

But, now I live in Fargo, North Dakota. I do not know if the Fargoans (is that a word?) can and will understand me and my utilikilt. I guess we shall see.

In addition, I did not buy my utilikilt to “pick up women”. That isn’t even on my radar. I bought the utilikilt because I like wearing a kilt, and the utilikilt is affordable. My authentic kilt cost me $300 in 1999, which translates to be about $425-$450 in 2016. And that was just the basic kilt, with the full kit, which was about $150.00, $220 in 2016. The basic utilikilt costs about $55, with about 25 for the kit. So, I bought this because it is much more affordable than authentic kilt.

Note, however, an authentic kilt is made of wool, whereas a utilikilt is made of heavy cotton. That is fine for me, as I will not be wearing it during the cold.

So, those who live within a five mile radius of the “Hawthorne” neighborhood of Fargo, look for me!



About Kevin Benko

I'm a fifty-something generic humanoid sack of water and meat.

One response to “Concerning the Utilikilt”

  1. Kenneth T. says :

    My kilt of choice happens to be black watch. I’m not Scottish (well I don’t know) so I’m not taking a chance.


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